Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
What is growing in my mind anyway? Is it this deep mama compassion?
I don't often take the time to "weed" it. It's a bit overgrown these days, but hopefully there are some seeds of compassion in the tangle somewhere. My mind just needs a bit of clearing to let the good stuff grow.
Here is what I should be growing... from HowToMeditate.org
Contemplating the innumerable ways in which others help us, we should make a firm decision: `I must cherish all living beings because they are so kind to me.’ Based on this determination we develop a feeling of cherishing – a sense that all living beings are important and that their happiness matters. We try to mix our mind single-pointedly with this feeling and maintain it for as long as we can without forgetting it.
We dedicate all the virtues we have created in this meditation practice to the welfare of all living beings by reciting the dedication prayers.
3. Subsequent PracticeWhen we arise from meditation we try to maintain this mind of love, so that whenever we meet or remember someone we naturally think: `This person is important, this person’s happiness matters.’ In this way we can make cherishing living beings our main practice
Monday, August 17, 2009
Funny side note:
I get PAID to make maps. The folks who write my checks clearly haven't been let in on my dirty little secret... a severely underdeveloped sense of direction.
Here's my defense for my Kalamazoo area wanderings... Lil was fast asleep for the first part of the trek. I listened to NPR. Sooo relaxing, life was good. Then the screaming began right before I got off the highway. In trying to calm her down I didn't figure out I'd chosen the wrong exit and driven the wrong direction for about 30 minutes.
Hubby teases me for good reason.
In the end even Lilly would say the trek was worth the anguish. The fiber festival was wonderful. We wandered the miles of candy colored yarn. Lilly loved the color, he people, the ANIMALS!
Somehow these goats found a way.
Here she is holding Lilly :)
should have taken a shot of the poor naked sheep :)
Michelle and her husband Jake have the coolest house and property. There are fields, a stream and wetlands. They are working on clearing out all the invasive species. They also have a couple barns, a fenced veggie garden and a wild and crazy German Shorthair who sprints like it's his job! How did i miss a photo of him?
Lillies! I notice all lillies now that my daughter shares their name!
Isn't the barn stunning?!!
Lunch plucked from Michelle's garden! YUMMM
What a great getaway! When Lilly wakes up from her nap I'm going to call Michelle to chat :) Hopefully we'll make plans to get together soon!
Love ya Michelle!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
My mind is just out of control. I have been letting several useless desires get to me. Seeking alone time. Convincing the landlord to spare a lovely old tree. Failing. Watching the lovely tree needlessly die. Shopping for our own home (We decide the fate of it's trees). Dreading the start of school. Battling clutter and chaos in our house.
whiny and irritable like my (maybe) teething daughter.
Last week we tried to get Lilly to sleep in her crib. I have been reading a book about healthy sleep for infants. Some ideas in the book were really appealing to me. The first idea was that Lilly could nap on her own. This was appealing because I could expect two whole hours during the day to myself! The second idea was that she needed an early bedtime. Also appealing because Hubby and I might get some much needed couple time.
Perfect! Ah-ha! She just needs to cry through a few bedtimes to learn to sooth herself and we all win. Lilly gets healthier sleep and we get some alone time! Yeah!
Easy ideas to get attached to. Sooo desirable.
Here was the reality after 3 days. Lilly screamed for 5 hours a day, was exhausted, cranky and clingy. I got much less done, no alone time... All the while feeling guilty and negligent. I was also pissed at Lilly for not following the rules. This anger keeps cropping up even though we gave up on the new sleep system.
It's been hard to get the idea out of my head that I deserve the alone time promised by the doctor who wrote the book.
So snuggly and sweet... And I have time to blog while she snoozes. I just need to let go of the alone time idea and be happy with what I have. It's really pretty great.
I dunno, but they are awfully seductive...
Tim starts school in the next weeks. I'm so attached to having him around to help out every day. It's hard to let go and just realize that I'm going to have to learn to be alone with Lilly most of the time again. It's just so daunting, but I can't stop it from coming, so I need to just stop worrying about it.
In all of these cases I have tried to control the uncontrollable or desired something impossible. It only makes me upset and unhappy and serves no useful purpose.
JUST LET IT GO HEATHER!
I'll let you all know how I fare.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Take a sweet moment to appreciate the beauty... save the memory in my happy little blog... and cross my legs when I'm in public just so, that way nobody can see the tiny hole I ripped in my pants leg while riding my bike to work.
I've been thinking about it for months... ever since we started decorating the nursery.
They are vinyl wall decals by DaliDecals on Etsy. They make me sigh. So whimsical, so sweet...