No Drugs, Thanks

This is Lilly Jean on the day she was born. That was on December 8th, 2008. What a big day for both of us!

In the months leading up to this moment, I was OBSESSED with reading every detail about birth. I was somewhat certain I was headed to my deathbed, but hopeful that if I did survive that the resulting infant would be cute and not afflicted by colic.

Now that survival has been achieved, I am somewhat obsessed with remembering all the moments of Lilly's birth.

My Mom really wanted to be there... Hubby wanted it to be just us... I just didn't want anyone to be pissed while I was giving birth (read, stuck in the middle and I kinda wanted my mommy). Anyway, when I was walking the halls with Hubby and Laurie (my wonderful doula), walking might be a misleading word... shuffling and puking is more accurate... Mom started walking along and feeding me ice chips between contractions. She stuck with me to the end and took a zillion pictures.

I LOVE THESE PICTURES. I will spare the eyes of anyone who might happen apon this site... Lots of blood and such. For example, I happen to appear naked and exhausted (but not dead!) in the background of the first photo of my mom holding Lilly. I don't care though. I look at them all the time.

Not really sure what it is about them, the light in the hospital was horrid in the wee hours of the morning. I look awful. Everyone looks awful. I guess I'm just so proud that I was able to give Lilly a birth free from chemicals. The photos are the evidence of a moment that is burned into my memory like a brand. I'm different now.

Each photo sparks a memory from a slightly different angle... mine. Like the shot where mom is proudly smiling and holding Lilly. Laurie is leaning toward me and talking me through sitting up for the first time. These tiny movements took everything I had. Thank god for Laurie. She was there to help me so that Tim and Mom could enjoy meeting Lilly.

Here I am meeting Lilly...


Here is Hubby holding her for the first time...


We did it! Together! Thanks to Hubby and Mom and Laurie :)

And Lilly is CUTE!!! But afflicted with the dreaded COLIC...