Did I Mention?

That Hubby cooks?

Mmmm... this was a tasty dinner.

We need to make it again soon. Grilled corn on the cob with some kind of Mexican saucy goodness. And that wonderful shrimp swimming in garlic and butter. YUM!

Roll Over

Hubby is funny. Real Funny.

Here's an example. We have been watching Mad Men. It's written by the same folks who wrote The Sopranos, so you knew it was going to be good. Anyway we were up late the other night and had just finished watching an episode. I mentioned how grateful I am to live with far less defined gender roles than our grandparents.

I know, I know this coming from the stay at home mom. who likes to sew. and bake. and garden....

But I DO work from here. Has anyone noticed the silence for the last month? Didn't think so, but anyway I have been working a lot. It isn't just about being allowed to work these days. The attitude is totally different than when my grandparents were growing their families. Hubby really respects what I do for a living.

Here's a couple samples of my recent renderings of designs.


Anyway. My recent work is really pretty off the subject.

The point is: Hubby is FUNNY. And it was very late. We were both feeling a little silly and sleepy.

I brought up how in a recent episode a woman's clever turn of phrase was compared by a man to a dog doing a trick. Hubby immediately suggested I roll over. HAHA!

I've been chuckling for days over that one :)


Here's a cute dog... She knows a few tricks :) Goof ball.

Suffering

I have been CRANKY these last few days... surly and NO FUN to be around. Just ask hubby... I bet he'd have an eye roll for my outlook lately.

My mind is just out of control. I have been letting several useless desires get to me. Seeking alone time. Convincing the landlord to spare a lovely old tree. Failing. Watching the lovely tree needlessly die. Shopping for our own home (We decide the fate of it's trees). Dreading the start of school. Battling clutter and chaos in our house.

I've kinda felt like this...
whiny and irritable like my (maybe) teething daughter.

Last week we tried to get Lilly to sleep in her crib. I have been reading a book about healthy sleep for infants. Some ideas in the book were really appealing to me. The first idea was that Lilly could nap on her own. This was appealing because I could expect two whole hours during the day to myself! The second idea was that she needed an early bedtime. Also appealing because Hubby and I might get some much needed couple time.

Perfect! Ah-ha! She just needs to cry through a few bedtimes to learn to sooth herself and we all win. Lilly gets healthier sleep and we get some alone time! Yeah!

Easy ideas to get attached to. Sooo desirable.

Here was the reality after 3 days. Lilly screamed for 5 hours a day, was exhausted, cranky and clingy. I got much less done, no alone time... All the while feeling guilty and negligent. I was also pissed at Lilly for not following the rules. This anger keeps cropping up even though we gave up on the new sleep system.

It's been hard to get the idea out of my head that I deserve the alone time promised by the doctor who wrote the book.

Here is what we are back to now...

So snuggly and sweet... And I have time to blog while she snoozes. I just need to let go of the alone time idea and be happy with what I have. It's really pretty great.

We're trying to buy a house...

We like this one right now

This territory comes with a ton of hoop jumping, red tape to access my 401k, baby screaming car rides, waiting, hopes, desires and angst! Why is so much unhealthy desire attached to this activity? It's part of our culture to wrap up our identity in the homes we make for ourselves.

Will I really be happier if I owned these lovely stained glass windows, wood trim and hardwood floors?
I dunno, but they are awfully seductive...

Before we even walked in I was mentally arranging our furniture in these rooms. Grandma's table and chair set in the dining room. Our white bookshelves in the corner of the living room... The whole deal may just evaporate. We'll be stuck getting over the love of what could have been.

Tim starts school in the next weeks. I'm so attached to having him around to help out every day. It's hard to let go and just realize that I'm going to have to learn to be alone with Lilly most of the time again. It's just so daunting, but I can't stop it from coming, so I need to just stop worrying about it.

In all of these cases I have tried to control the uncontrollable or desired something impossible. It only makes me upset and unhappy and serves no useful purpose.

JUST LET IT GO HEATHER!

I'll let you all know how I fare.

Hopefully we'll be feeling more like this...

Didn't do it

Not yet anyway... She's still snoozing with us. Maybe before school starts? Tim's worried about getting up before us. We create a safe valley for her in the middle of the bed, but if he's gone... not so safe maybe.

But how can we kick this face out of bed?

Torn

Please note that I have no intention of turning this blog into a sob story or continually using it to vent frustrations. Oh boo hoo me!

However, I am at the end of a frayed rope today. Last night was the FIFTH night in a row where Lilly has nursed every hour... at least. I didn't even fall asleep for the first time last night until 5 am.

We would nurse for about 20 min... she would suck on and off for another 10. Finally. FINALLY! she would allow me to remove her without crying around the 30 min mark! I would try to relax and go to sleep for the next 25 min... just start to nod off and she'd start crying again. HERE WE GO AGAIN. Repeat process all night. Guh.

Like I said, Frayed rope.

I will be amazed if this post makes any sense when it's done.

We have a dinner guest right now as well (I'm upstairs, you guessed it, nursing), so we spent most of the day trying to get our act together enough to seem sane. yikes. I bet she sees right through it... we probably should have rescheduled!

I think Lilly is having a growth spurt. She's really hungry! But she needs to SLEEP at night and EAT in the day! I can't think of any other way to teach her this than to send her to the crib. There's no way to let them cry it out every now and then. it's all or nothing. If we do this there's no turning back. Bed time will become our battlefield instead of our coziest time of day.

Here's the thing though. I love nursing. I love co-sleeping. I really don't want to stop either. I just can't make it through another night of this.

She's nursing right now while we sit in the chair and she looks so sweet. so cuddly. She has no idea what we're planning.

I just feel like crying. :(

Weapons of Mass Distraction

Hubby's job when Lilly needs clean pants...
He coined the term tonight and I thought the world should know :)


Just look at that face... Does she look easily distracted to you?

Still Waters

Still Waters Run Deep

This is how a friend recently described Hubby... Apt description. He blushed a bit at the compliment and joked how Josh might back peddle if he discovered the leaning stacks of cheesy comic books on the nightstand. Now I'm not saying that his stacking tendencies don't occasionally make me consider that pyromania might be the only solution, but enthusiastic love for superheroes is part of his makeup. Even if Josh changed his opinion, I will always love my comic book-nerd, film-geek hubby.

Here is Hubby's current comic book love.
The Green Lantern

He tried to explain lanterns to me, but I just don't get it... oh well. How does that mini mask stick to that guy's face anyway? Adhesive? I don't see any strings there... And who decided that if you've got superpowers the only prudent course of action is to run around in a leotard with a mask super-glued to your face? I guess I can't judge though, I spent about 20 years of my life in a leotard. Maybe I'll write a gymnastics post someday...

Back to my point... A flattering compliment from a casual acquaintance, but it struck me, because it rings so true.

This is the perfect phrase to sum him up. Still Waters Run Deep.

Hubby is calm, measured, and level. The most loyal man I've ever met. Sometimes almost to a fault. Almost... and then I remember that I am the one who most benefits from this loyalty. Hubby's is a quiet confidence. He has no need to show it off, or push it in anyone's face. He doesn't worry much about clothes... or hair... or shoes... or what anyone else is doing.

Instead, he does his own thing. And very well. We recently found out that the teaching job he just landed (wrote about the job the other day) had 4000 other people apply for it. That is just insane.

Under Hubby's calm surface the waters run extremely deep. Makes me think of the fjords in Norway. Some of them are narrow enough to pitch a stone to the opposite shore, but run thousands of feet deep. Hubby's like that... and it's a lovely thing.

I've been lucky enough to experience both.

Thanks to studio Jfish on flikr for the photo :)
I didn't feel like digging in the closet to find mine...

On my own, although I'm hard-working and enthusiastic, I'm also frazzled, panicky, and a bit scattered. I'm always concerned about making a good appearance. I glance around a lot. He rubs off on me though... calms me down and helps me to focus.

Look at him watching Lilly.

She's thrashing around and he's just watching her sort it out. Lilly takes after me... which makes my mom sorry she wished a colicky baby on me for years. But that's another story. Lilly needs her daddy... he'll temper her to. She is lucky to have him.


I think I mentioned I love him...

All Together Now

Wow... That about sums it up. wow.

I am so proud of my Hubby today. He was pink slipped from his job this spring and has been chasing leads for jobs in the fall. Let me tell you, they are few and far between in Michigan these days. I wouldn't be surprised if a thousand teachers apply for every opening.

This morning he was offered a teaching job in East Grand Rapids! Then he called his district to let them know and they guaranteed him a job as well!!! TWO JOBS!! I feel like I might explode, I'm that excited! And relieved... and teary... and PROUD.

Here he is after the interview... Cleans up awful nice :)



I think I mentioned that I love him :-)

We still have some big decisions to make, but now we're steering the boat.

Feels Good.

Hubby's funnies

I love, love love my hubby... We've been together a l o n g l o n g time. He is so many things that I am not, and we compliment each other perfectly. I just love him, did I mention that?

Here he is being hilarious, which I am generally not. He told me yesterday that I am also funny, but he was just being nice :)



Here's an example, but I have a bit of back story to tell you first. The most obnoxiously yippy Scotti dog just moved in across the street from us two weeks ago. I don't know his real name, so lets just call him Frank. Now I am sure Frank's owner is a lovely lady... she must work nights? I'll let you know when I get to the bottom of this. Anyway, she leaves the window open and the dog just sits there and barks/yips at nothing For-EV-EEEEEER.

This picture, thanks Eoghan Lynch from Flickr, pretty much sums up how I agree with the people of Tokyo on the subject of yippy Scotti dogs.



Frank has inspired another neighbor to walk outside and scream at the top of his lungs, "SHHHH-UT UUUUP! SOOOOOO ANNOYING!!" This was two am. Frank had been at it for hours. Nobody was sleeping.

We were relating this to my parents on saturday when they were over for dinner. My mom suggested that we write a polite letter to Frank's owner to inform her of what was going on.

Tim never misses a beat. He starts dictating the letter...


"Dear maam,

I am going to BEAT. YOUR. ASS... politely, (pauses to let us finish cracking up) if you don't shut up your dog.

Sincerely,
Herb Vanderlugt (this is our good friend and neighbor, another pause to let us pick ourselves up after rolling on the floor laughing)

P.S. You know, the tall bald guy across the street. NOT the shorter, slightly pudgy guy Tim."

I think I mentioned I love him... :) tehe